Trauma and grief have a way of weighing you down, making you feel like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders. Sometimes, you just need to take a break, catch your breath, and escape for a while. For me, there were nights when sitting around a fire with a friend, a drink in hand, and some heartfelt (and maybe overly philosophical) conversation felt like the perfect way to let go of the heaviness.
And you know what? I think that’s okay. It’s okay to take a moment to disconnect, to laugh, to share stories, and even to escape a little. Those nights can be cathartic, a way to process emotions in a safe space surrounded by people who care about you. But here’s the thing: it’s a fine line between an occasional release and a routine that traps you.
For a while, I didn’t see the difference. The guilt and grief I was experiencing was nearly unbearable. A few beers was a way to avoid dealing with the pain, and helped get me to sleep. It started innocently enough, but over time, those moments of escape became more frequent and they became something I yearned for. I was no longer sitting around the fire with friends — I was alone, numbing feelings I didn’t want to face.
I wasn’t just escaping anymore; I was running. And the more I ran, the further I got from healing.
Finding the Middle Ground
These days, I’ve found a better balance. I’ve learned that it’s okay to enjoy a few beers now and then, to sit back, relax, and let the world fade for a bit. But I’ve also learned the importance of keeping it in check. What you can’t do is let those moments of escape become part of who you are. It’s a slippery slope when escapism turns into avoidance.
Now, I’m more intentional. If I’m pouring a drink, I ask myself why. Am I celebrating, connecting, or enjoying the moment? Or am I trying to avoid something I need to confront? That pause, that bit of self-awareness, has made all the difference.
So here’s the takeaway:
it’s okay to escape every once in a while. It’s okay to laugh, to be a little philosophical, and to share a drink with people who make you feel seen and heard. Just don’t let it define you. Don’t let it become your go-to answer for life’s hardest questions.
The trail to healing is messy and hard, but it’s worth taking the hike. And when you take those moments to pause and breathe, make sure they’re steps forward, not detours that keep you stuck. You’ll get there. And if you need someone to walk with you along the way, you know where to find me.
Photo by Drew Farwell and Kyle Bingham
